Basics in the practice of Collective Presencing
Eric’s writing touches on a lot of elements, and evokes some of the atmosphere and the qualities present in this kind of dialogue space. The conditions to make this happen are quite simple; we will start here with naming the basics.
As mentioned before, the practice of Collective Presencing builds on the ancient practice of sitting in circle. Instead of trying to write something original, I’m copying here a few paragraphs from the longer, original book, Collective Presencing: An Emerging Human Capacity (3.3 Basic Circle Practice):
As a way for people to come together, the circle has been around since the dawn of time. Many people thrive in a circle because it implicitly invites us to treat each other as equal human beings. Sitting in a circle invites an experience that is a world away from what happens when we meet around a square table, or in rows of chairs with someone standing in front. The latter arrangements tend to bring in more hierarchy, planning, debate and discussion (from the Latin root discutere, which means: to chop into pieces). In the Art of Hosting global network, we often introduce the circle as the mother of all social technologies.
Sitting in a circle to have a conversation (from the Latin root con-versare, meaning to turn to one another) invites (more) equal relations in the group; it is an invitation to be a ‘leader-full’ group. Practicing conversation in this way, over an extended period of time, allows one to engage deeply with a group of people. It also offers an excellent training ground for the varied aspects of becoming present on all the levels described so far. It offers deep learning by immersion.
Circle practice, with its simple agreements and guidelines, (more on these later) provides a safe space that invites trust, depth, intimacy and authenticity. When applied consistently and well, its guiding principles create a container of trust that strongly invites each participant to express their unique self and to welcome others in their authenticity in turn. As the shared experience evolves, this trust and safety grow, and participants begin to risk ever-deeper authenticity, firstly within the boundaries of the circle and later in many other arenas of life and work.
Circle practice connects us deeply with our shared humanity, while simultaneously revealing how unique each one of us is. The witnessing quality of the circle invites each person to express more of who they are. We each realise that there is deeper potential in ourselves and in others as well.
Circle practice is not to be confused with a community culture of superficial saccharin sweetness (“we all love each other so much”). What we are talking about here is a method that has a clear purpose and focuses on a shared inquiry. The purpose of the circle is not to feel happy, but rather to learn together. It is a shared collective inquiry – although one can certainly become happy as a side effect! In the basic form, the focus is on how to become present – increasingly so and in ever more settings and situations – so that an emergent collective wisdom becomes available. In deeper circle practice, the purpose is to extend the alignment in all directions and reach a space of shared creativity and generativity that adds more to life than what is already present.
Welcoming and framing
Every gathering, every meeting benefits from starting well – and I mean indeed every meeting, even in business contexts! Circle practice starts with a welcome and some context setting that brings the purpose of the meeting front and center. Often the welcome is spoken by the person hosting the gathering (more on the difference between hosting and facilitating below), but that’s not a fixed rule.
How we frame or contextualise a conversation is much more important than we generally realise. Each time we meet, it is good and helpful to be very explicit about the intention for the meeting, the methodology we will use and the overall purpose of the circle. It is not wise to assume that such framing is superfluous and that everyone knows what we are about! While circle practice is very simple, framing the conversation at the outset helps to set clear boundaries for the container being offered (“This is how we do it, and why.”) and ensure that we are all on the same page in this learning environment (“This is what the conversation is about, this is our intention and our guiding question.”)
Introducing circle practice
As far as participants are not all familiar with working in circle, it is important to introduce the basic elements. These elements are few and simple, but very impactful when taken to heart. First is to speak with intention. This means that when we speak we do not let our words meander aimlessly, but we choose what is relevant to the question or the shared topic. Second is to listen with attention or curiosity, giving our full attention to what is shared by others, trying to understand what they are conveying beyond the words spoken. This is empathic listening, where we are able to feel or recognise in ourselves what the others are expressing. The third and last practice is to care for the well being of the group, specifically being conscious of the impact of what we say and how we say it.
One element that really sets circle practice apart from our habitual speaking is the use of a talking piece. The person who holds the piece is the one who can speak and the one that others are listening to. There is no interruption whatsoever. The use of a talking piece slows down the conversation a lot, and that is indeed our intention. We slow down to listen well, both to what rises up in us as we speak, and also to listen and witness what is being expressed through the words, the intonations, the small gestures, the silence woven in between by others. If we are to access some deeper and subtle knowing then we need to leave behind the quick pace of our habitual exchanges. Online, this can easily be done through un-muting ourselves and speaking our intention when starting to share.
Simple structure of a dialogue session
A Collective Presencing session has a very simple format. After the Welcome and Framing and the introduction of circle practice, the actual session starts with a check-in round, and then the dialogue is introduced by offering the guiding question with its specific framing. Within the context of our 90-minute sessions we want to give each person enough air time in a session; and out of experience, we split the group up in two when there are 16 or more participants. The session is closed with some form of check-out; which is also the time that the different breakout groups come back together. Let’s dive a bit deeper in each of these elements.
Check-in round
A check-in round is in essence there to let others hear how you are entering the conversation. Maybe your child was sick during the night? Maybe the recent news has shaken you up? Maybe your housing situation is shifting drastically? On the other side of the spectrum: maybe you are in a really good spot with your relationship? Maybe you are very happy with how your gardening has provided you with lots of vegetables? When others know a tiny bit of this background they have a better context to understand the vibe you are bringing in.
In sharing these emotions, these worries, these facts into the middle of the circle we will notice that it brings us more here and now, and that what was blocking us from paying full attention has had its articulation and can more easily move to the background. So, the aim is not alone that others understand a bit where you are coming from, it is also a service to yourself of being able to become more present.
How the talking piece travels through the circle can take two forms. In person-to-person circles it is quite common to pass the talking piece around the circle. If it comes your way and you don’t feel ready to share, you can pass it on to your neighbor and later the piece will come back to you. When more people are accustomed to the practice the talking piece can be in the middle (either physically or metaphorically) and people pick it up as they feel called to share.
The dialogue
Then the real dialogue part can start. The hosts of the conversation will introduce the guiding question for which we gathered; most likely offering some framing around the question. (More on how to find and articulate these questions later)
When it is a deep inquiry, it might be that several sessions use the same question. Still, a framing from a slightly different angle will inspire the dialogue. We tend to think too many times that every participant gets what we are doing or where the question is pointing to; I have come to see that is not the case. Another way of bringing in the inquiry is like an appetizer to a good meal. Taking care of a good framing will be appreciated and will enhance the quality of the dialogue that follows. In this dialogue we keep using the talking piece from the middle, as it slows the conversation down so we are able to access intuitions, hunches, unformed ideas, subtle sensing etc. It is also mentioned by the host that silence is more than welcome. There can be silence between the sharing of two people, but equally so each one in the circle can ask for some silence; thus as long as they are holding the talking piece everyone shares this silence and re-centers if needed.
Checkout or closing the inquiry
When working in circle, it is important to close the conversation properly. We give an opportunity for everyone to say a final word or sentence (or sometimes silence), to share the meaning this particular conversation had for them. An inviting question can be offered to guide this round of sharing; and could be as simple as: What do you need to voice to close the circle well? I notice how many times, in regular meetings, we drop this practice of closing, mostly due to so-called time constraints. When we don’t give in to this pressure, it is very rewarding to learn how people are leaving the gathering and what they take away with them from the circle. Sometimes you are really surprised how their experience is so different from yours!
More rules, principles and prompts, which get you deeper from the basics into the practice of Collective Presencing, you find in the next part of the book. They are not to be seen as strict rules, but more as invitations for everyone involved, as we want to stretch people’s ability to be in this kind of conversation, knowing too well it feels quite strange in the beginning, and it is quite different from normal conversations.